Poets

“America makes prodigious mistakes, America has collausal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still.” -E.E. Cummings

There is an infinite sea spilling over with great poets who will swim on forever in the minds of those who appreciate them. I can’t imagine any of them being anything besides beautiful people, with their beautiful words. I don’t want to imagine them any other way.

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Vision

Rize: Miss Prissy

Miss Prissy of Rize, the chronicle of a dance movement from Los Angeles. Watch it here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6401727599474326174#

A poem I read the other day. I like the content. And the documentary mentioned in the caption above. It’s about this awesome hip hop-esque youth dance movement that came out of inner-city Los Angeles. Aaron had me watch it with him cause it inspires his supersmooth,hip,hot,hip,hop moves :] Read the poem, and WATCH RIZE HERE: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6401727599474326174#

Vision/If women ran hip hop :: Aya de Leon http://www.ayadeleon.com/vision.html

If women ran hip hop
the beats & rhymes would be just as dope,
but there would never be a bad vibe when you walked in
the place
& the clubs would be beautiful & smell good
& the music would never be too loud
but there would be free earplugs available anyway
& venues would have skylights and phat patios
and shows would run all day not just late at night
cuz If women ran hip hop we would have nothing to be
ashamed of
& there would be an African marketplace
with big shrines to Oya
Yoruba deity of the female warrior & entrepreneur
and women would sell & barter & prosper

If women ran hip hop
there would never be shootings
cuz there would be onsite conflict mediators
to help you work through all that negativity & hostility
& there would also be free condoms & dental dams
in pretty baskets throughout the place
as well as counselors to help you make the decision:
do I really want to have sex with him or her?
& there would be safe, reliable, low-cost 24 hour
transportation home
& every venue would have on-site quality child care
where kids could sleep while grown folks danced
& all shows would be all ages cause the economy of hip
hop wouldn’t revolve around the sale of alcohol

If women ran hip hop
same gender-loving & transgender emcees
would be proportionally represented
& get mad love from everybody
& females would dress sexy if we wanted to celebrate our bodies
but it wouldn’t be that important because
everyone would be paying attention to our minds, anyway

If women ran hip hop
men would be relieved because it’s so draining
to keep up that front of toughness & power & control 24-7

If women ran hip hop
the only folks dancing in cages would be dogs & cats
from the local animal shelter
excited about getting adopted by pet lovers in the crowd

If women ran hip hop
there would be social workers available to refer
gangsta rappers
to 21-day detox programs where they could get clean & sober
from violence & misogyny

but best of all, if women ran hip hop
we would have the dopest female emcees ever
because all the young women afraid to bust
would unleash their brilliance on the world

cause it’s the time for the reclaiming of hip hop

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Great Beginnings

what is this feeling?
from what mystery does it arise?
it’s unlike any other i experience,
now or then.
what is love?
why is there only one word for it?
this is certainly a case in which
one is not enough.

strongly emotive
a way that has not passed by for some time
but almost too much good.
what to do with this good?
where to put it? where to put me when it is here?

the feelings burst out of me in all directions,
flowing on until their will dries up, runs out,
out the door and they’re gone
constant, continuous, unknowable motion
until they next decide to visit me
sometime in the distance.

burst too explosive a word
pouring
spouting out of a fountain
hot springs and geysers shooting spectrums
up from the origins of our being,
the moist soil that holds our home together,
connects every soul.

from whom did this feeling arise?
whose soul channeled through to me,
between narrow banks and shallow waters they traveled,
with this feeling so deep.
perhaps all awoke within the confines of my own skin.
but what a lonely way to begin.

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“All photographs are self portraits”

Through some
you see a story unfold
With others
comes mostly the progression
of emotion.

You’re smiling
Your heart feels light,
Happy.
There’s a trace of quiet laughter
on the corners
of your lips,
hiding tucked behind your ear.
You don’t move except
to tilt your head toward me.
When you look at me
your eyes are soft,
the smile smooths
from lighthearted laughter
into peace.
There is love in your eyes.
You see something,
feel something.
It allows your viewer
a glimpse
of the extent of serenity
that was your soul
in that moment.

In the next frame
your smile begins to widen,
you glance away,
taking the emotion with you
in your eyes,
but it’s still
in the pure contours
of your face,
left behind
in your hands
that gracefully lie
above your head.
You’re still
happy.
The connection created
by eye contact
can leave you feeling vulnerable,
as if you’ve exposed
that window into your soul
for too long.

But when you looked at me
like that,
I captured it.
It embraces my spirit,
it is stamped on my soul –
Eternal,
just like the rest of you.

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“Fairy Tales, Reality Fails” Revisited

Right around the time fairy tale-reading ended, my envy of the Spice Girls began. I wanted to sing, I wanted to dance.

By middle school I realized singing and dancing for life was like reaching for the stars and, let’s face it, the stars are far away. But all options had not been exhausted. I always had an argument, so my family told me I’d make a good lawyer.  Lawyers make good money. I wanted nice things. That added up.

By high school I realized how little I wanted to do with the government and how much I did not want to be like “Dear person, I give you legal aid, you give me a million dollars. Those years I took thousands of photographs, some of them pretty good :] and it brought me immense joy. So the next logical step in my feeling out life paths would be photography, right?

But I didn’t follow my bliss. In 11th grade when we researched careers my fear of making zilch as a photographer was confirmed. I grew up thinking there was no option besides college because my parents didn’t want me to end up struggling financially. I liked helping people and making a positive difference so I settled for psychology. I was excited but after studying it for two years my feelings about it changed.

Early on this semester I realized how unhappy I was with my life. At the same time, I didn’t know where I wanted to be. I had a breakdown of sorts and decided to take some time off school. I thought maybe if I took a break I’d find some answers. Unsurprisingly, by the time the weekend was over I decided to stick school out to the end. And then good news came: I met with my advisor to schedule for the spring semester and found out I can graduate after doing an internship next summer (2011). This made me feel a little better; at least now I know I’ll be done with this stage of my life soon. I feel like I’ve grown as much as I can here and thus feel stuck – like I can’t move on to anything new, try to figure out what I actually want to do because I’m here in this small unprogressive town working toward a degree in something I don’t exactly care about. (But at least I’ll have a degree, I guess, haha.)

Another thing I struggle with is not having any hobbies, and I feel like I don’t have much of an opportunity to develop those right now either. I still love photography but after starting Photo I, I know I’m not ready to do everything it takes to develop all the skills I would need to be a professional photographer. I want to dance and make my own jewelry and other various things and develop some food skills. Next semester I’m taking piano and I’m really excited about that because I’ve always wanted to learn how to play :] I’m nervous because next semester will be busy but I need to do something enjoyable to stay sane. As far as my internship goes, I was thinking I would do it with the National Organization for Women because for, like, a year now I’ve been a pretty big feminist. But I’m hesitant because of how angry I get with people who don’t understand feminism and I don’t know how to verbalize my frustrations in the most rational way. Sooo maybe I’ll work with a yoga instructor. Random, right? Well, I don’t know what I want to do so it’s probably guna end up being random either way. Yoga is peaceful and healthy.

The unknown isn’t always a fun place to be. But it can be exciting. At least everything wasn’t decided for me. I know it won’t be like this forever so I’m trying to make the best of it. Even though I’m struggling, my situation could be worse for sure. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a smile on my face, and love in my heart.  I appreciate Aaron for always reminding me that I’ll get through this and for sticking through it with me, because I don’t always deal well.

I know I’m not the only one in this boat right now. All of our boats are different so we should go sailing together and share stories. Our words would make a nice colorful design on the water. We could swim with dolphins and when the sun sets, dry off by a fire on the shore. And roast yummy marshmallows, or just decorate them with icing and sprinkles, which would be pretty and = lots of sugar, which = sweetness. And even though the stars are far away, if we all worked together I bet we could reach them :]

I’ll post more about the progression of my life as it unfolds.

PS. I like Hello Kitty ❤

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For the Win

90 years ago today women won the right to vote,

thanks to the inspiring Alice Paul and countless other women’s suffragists. To gain this achievement they fought long and hard for many years, during which they silently picketed the White House daily, were arrested for doing so, and went on a serious hunger strike while imprisoned. I won’t forget how far we’ve come or to whom we owe our deep appreciation.

…On a side note, I just learned that Alice Paul went to Swarthmore for her undergrad! (And then went on to get, like, two law degrees – yeah, she’s awesome.) It’s a teensy, beautiful, prestigious school right outside Philly that I would have liked to have gone to. Fun fact: there are no sororities there because of a student outrage against them. Sounds like my kinda place! 🙂

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Gris.

We don’t make love.

love
is

We share love.
The ecstasy of it
is beneath words
above words
beyond words

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